Substance abuse on the London gay scene is at an all-time high, and Members of the "LGB" community are seven times more likely to use drugs. As part of an investigation into the phenomena of "ChemSex" I spoke with four gay men in London. Each has a different experience of "ChemSex", their stories illuminate the realities of drug use in the gay community. Here are their tales...
Raphael
He takes us through his journey from Singapore to London; starting with the first time he engaged in ChemSex, from battling addiction and ending up in a coma very close to death, to where he is today.
Stuart
(COMING SOON)
A teacher details his experience of falling in love with an addict, being in a relationship with someone heavily involved in ChemSex culture, and nearly losing everything in the process.
Michael
(COMING SOON)
The National ChemSex Coordinator at Terrence Higgins Trust talks about how ChemSex has evolved within and transformed the gay community, and how best the community can be supported.
Chris
(COMING SOON)
A trainee counselling psychologist details what drives gay men to experiment with ChemSex in the first place, and why that community is so susceptible to these types of phenomena.
What is Chemsex?
ChemSex is often defined simply as the use of one or more of three specific drugs (or "chems") - Mephedrone, GHB/GBL, and Crystal Meth - in any combination whilst having sexual intercourse.
Whilst it is widely acknowledged that ChemSex occurs most often within the gay community, many would suggest that the term describes more than just having sex whilst under the influence of drugs.
Rather, the term "ChemSex" might be used to describe a phenomenon that happens exclusively within the gay community, characterised not only by the act of having sex whilst high but the use of that act specifically as a coping mechanism for struggles unique to gay and bisexual men who have sex with men (GBMSM).
The term itself was coined by the late David Stuart, a pioneering advocate, activist, and support worker for ChemSex-related issues. David drew upon his own past experiences with ChemSex to develop strategies for health professionals to combat this type of substance misuse. He sadly passed away suddenly in early 2022 and was celebrated worldwide for his efforts in transforming how the ChemSex epidemic was perceived and combatted, saving many lives in the process.
"David is known and respected internationally for his tireless work with Gay, Bi, and Queer communities which he did with passion, empathy, and kindness.
His work with our patients has undoubtedly saved many lives and his loss is immeasurable." 56 Dean Street
Is Chemsex Commonplace?
Alongside interviewing the four subjects featured throughout this article, I surveyed over 100 gay men to dive deeper into the reality of chemsex in London. I asked various questions about their experiences of chemsex; ranging from their attitudes towards it, to if they have ever tried it, and whom they do it with.
According to the results, around 54% of gay men in London have at least tried chemsex at some point, and 27% said they still currently engage in chemsex either occasionally or frequently.
Though it seems clear that the use of "chems" in the bedroom has moved from niche to mainstream within the gay community in London, attitudes towards it are quite conflicting. The survey shows that although a majority of gay men are still not very accepting of chemsex, they perceive it to be increasingly accepted within their community.
What do Gay Men in London Think About Chemsex?*
*Comments taken from the anonymous survey accompanying this study
"As with most things, it’s ok until it’s done to excess. All good things in moderation"
"It is damaging friendships and relationships"
"It's fun!"
"It has made sex and relationships even more transactional"
"It has normalised more dangerous drugs in the community and blurs the boundaries of consensual sex"
"I think it normalises sex as something quite dark, animalistic, and brutal - which can be fun, but it can also make you forget that sex can be sober and loving etc as well"
"I still use regularly and enjoy it, but I wonder what my life would have been if I never started"
"It just creates a distasteful image, and makes us look seedy"
"There are positive effects, like opening up sexually and removing personal barriers. But some get addicted and don't even see it as a problem"
"I recognise it as a part of the gay subculture, but it's not for me"
The Other Gays
When asked how they thought ChemSex affected the gay community in London, survey respondents expressed concern about how ChemSex becoming synonymous with gay culture influenced society's perceptions of gay men. ​ Many of their comments reflected shame, fear, and disgust surrounding ChemSex - often describing it as "sleazy", "damaging", and "distasteful" - displaying a pattern of judgment towards those who engage in it.
"I believe it has led to deeper mistrust in one another, despair, and anxiety about gay relationships. It has tarnished the image of good gay sex"
Gay people have a long history of being discriminated against by society, their peers, and their families, and even criminalised by law. But stigmatisation within the community itself is not new either.
As evidenced during the AIDS crisis of the 80s and 90s, gay men have long sewn divisions between themselves along arbitrary, exclusionary, and often fickle lines. We still see this today with the stigma that remains around people with HIV in the gay community.
As the use of drugs to accompany sex transitions into mainstream gay culture, we are now seeing the same type of demonisation directed towards those who engage in ChemSex.
How Accepting Do Gay Men Think Their Community Is of ChemSex? VS How Accepting Are They of It Themselves?
Interestingly, the survey indicates that the majority of respondents feel that the gay community is generally more accepting of ChemSex, despite not being very accepting of it themselves.
These results suggest that stigma toward ChemSex in the gay community is perhaps more significant than previously considered and that the demonisation of ChemSex has created a divide between those who engage in it and those who don't - further marginalising ChemSex users.
Community & Connection
One of the major factors directing people towards ChemSex is the absence of a sense of community and belonging. ​ By engaging in ChemSex, gay men can experience an uninhibited and unfiltered connection with other men that they might otherwise find difficult to do. ​ This sense of loneliness and longing for a place within a wider community is a common characteristic of substance abuse.
However, ChemSex is nuanced by the existence of a shared root cause of loneliness among gay men, which stems from their being othered by society because of their sexuality. This traumatising experience often starts in adolescence and continues into adulthood.
While there may be other factors that cause this feeling of isolation in gay men, those factors compounded with a legacy of rejection and resentment from peers, family members, and even governments, often find gay men seeking acceptance and belonging in unfortunate places. ​ This could be why ChemSex frequently happens in sex parties, or large groups where drugs are readily available referred to as "Chillouts".
These parties are often organised and advertised on social media, specifically on dating and hookup apps, like Grindr.
Is social media To Blame?
The survey asked respondents various questions about where they purchased the drugs that they used for ChemSex-related activity, whom they engaged in ChemSex with, and where it usually took place for them. ​ The results indicated that most people (47%) engaged in ChemSex with casual partners or hook-ups, as well as at sex parties or in groups (30%).
They were most likely to have been introduced to ChemSex via casual partners, or at "chillouts". ​ More than half of respondents cited Grindr as an app on which somebody had either attempted to buy or sell drugs to them. Of those who had successfully used apps to buy drugs, 44% of them had done so via Grindr, followed by WhatsApp on 32% (see graphs below).
The Grindr Gateway
Grindr was the app that was most often cited by respondents as being a place where the exchange of illicit drugs takes place. Apps like Grindr have been blamed for the facilitation and proliferation of ChemSex in recent years. ​ The popular gay hook-up app's location-based platform, described as "Postmates for ChemSex", makes it easier for drug dealers to connect with and sell drugs to those in search of them. Paired with the use of online banking, the process can be streamlined so much so that the step from just thinking about taking drugs to them arriving at your door can take a matter of minutes.
Though it is against Grindr's terms of service to use the app in such a way, users will often use coded language or symbols to indicate their interests in ChemSex or desire to buy/sell drugs.
Phrases like "hosting" or "group now" are frequently used to advertise a group sex party where drugs will be present. Acronyms like "HNH" (high and horny) or "PNP" (party and play) are scattered within profiles of users looking to engage in ChemSex. ​ Whilst Grindr has banned certain words or phrases that are explicit, offensive, racist, or otherwise breach their terms of service, these terms referring to ChemSex don't seem to have been blocked despite wide acceptance of their definitions. ​ Whilst it could be argued that apps like Grindr have played as catalysts for the growth of ChemSex in recent times, it wouldn't be fair to place the blame solely at their feet. The nature of the internet and dating apps has transformed how gay men connect and communicate with each other on a global scale, and there will always be new ways for people to find what they're looking for. ​ Nevertheless, this doesn't suggest that apps like Grindr can't or shouldn't do more to improve their users' safety, especially with regards to ChemSex and substance abuse. They could start by allowing health advisers and professionals to navigate their apps and reach out to people in need of advice, instead of banning them as they have done in the past.
Grindr was approached multiple times for a comment on how their app is used to facilitate ChemSex, and the sale of drugs, but has yet to provide one.
EDIT: Since this article was published, terms like "hnh" and "pnp" have been blocked from Grindr profiles.
Health & Support
Unfortunately, there is very little research done around the subject of ChemSex, despite its prolific growth over the last few years. ​ Contributions made by David Stuart before his passing provided the foundation of decent services for gay men struggling with substance abuse and addiction. ​ Though, ChemSex still remains a highly underserved issue with very few resources and avenues for advice and support. ​ Some would say that this slow movement by public health services to act on ChemSex is due to the demographic it affects. It has been argued that if rich, straight, white men were suddenly overdosing from ChemSex-related drug use it would quickly become of public concern. ​ Nonetheless, there are organisations, mostly based in London and Brighton, that are working to change the conversation and deliver desperately needed services.
Some of the most well-known services include London Friend's ANTIDOTE drug and alcohol support group, 56 Dean Street, a sexual health clinic in Soho that primarily serves LGBT+ people, and the Terrence Higgins Trust, the UK's leading HIV and sexual health charity. ​ Their hope is that by removing the stigma behind ChemSex and reducing the alienation that happens to gay men, even within their own community, they can make positive changes for those who want help.
If you or anyone you know has been affected by ChemSex-related substance abuse or is worried about their relationship with sex and chems, the organisations below can provide free and confidential services.
Acknowledgments
I want to acknowledge the contributors that helped me complete this project by being highly candid in sharing their tales with me and everyone who reads this. It takes a lot of courage and openness in order to share such personal aspects of one's history, and in doing so they are potentially saving others from making a wrong turn down a very dark alley. So, thank you to Raphael, Stuart, Michael, and Chris for their participation. I'd also like to thank Impulse London for providing me with contacts and support throughout this process. ​ Whilst I don't condone the use of illicit substances, I respect that people are going to do what they want to, so I advise researching how to use drugs in a controlled and safe way. 'DrugWise' is a great resource for information about different drugs, what effects they have, and how they can harm you. Stay safe. Know your status.
(This article was first published here, and has been edited to include Controlling Chemsex as a ChemSex recourse)
